The Onion

History of presidential electricity at the white house

A little while ago on the Onion,_______ _ __________ wrote about the history of electricity on a timeline. 1. White house spends big money on light bulbs because Teddy Roosevelt shoots them. 2. William Howard Taft never turns heat on because his fat warms him. 3. Calvin Coolidge installs a flashing neon sign that says USA. 4. FDR Never used white house elevator to save electricity. 5. 20% of the white house's electricity is supplied by Richard Nixon pedaling a stationary bike. 6. Jimmy Carter does something with peanuts. 7. Reagan gives a 2 hour speech to his staff about turning of a light5 in a room that you aren't in. 8. A secret service man is assigned to keep an eye on a thermostat. That's the entire article so I'm not going to post a link. 

The New York Times

Today in the New York Times, Judy Battista wrote that the Pittsburgh Steelers won against the Miami Dolphins 23-22. Quarterback Ben  Roethlisberger fumbled just before he crossed the goal line, but they couldn't tell who recovered. The victory made the Steelers 5-1 and the Dolphins 3-3. Before that happened The Miami Dolphins were winning 22-20. Lucky for the Steelers, the replay proved that Roethlisberger lost control of the ball but the Dolphins didn't recover it. 

    After that the Steelers kicked an 18 yard field goal putting the Steelers in the lead. Then the Steelers used their defense and the Dolphins couldn't score. The Dolphins couldn't get a first down, and the game ended. If you want to read the article use this link. 

The Philadelphia Inquirer

Today in the Philadelphia Inquirer, Jonathan Tamari wrote that The Tennessee Titans beat The Philadelphia Eagles 37-19. He thought that the Eagles missed opportunities on sunday. They were 3 yards from taking a commanding lead(what's a commanding lead?) in the third quarter, but  they fumbled. He said they had a great chance to beat a second consecutive playoff contender, and gain a foothold as one of the NFC's top teams near the seasons halfway point(don't know what that means ether).

      Instead they dropped 4-3 and remain inconsistent from game to game even from quarter to quarter. That upsets me because i'm an Eagles fan. I used to like the Titans too because my cousin is Keith Bulluck but since he was traded this loss makes me angry. I don't think that the Eagles would keep losing if Michael Vick could play, though. Read the rest of the article using the link below.

link 

The Wall Street Journal

The Hobbit

Today in the Wall Street Journal Rebecca Howard wrote that US $500 million prequel to The Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit has prompted New Zealand Prime Minister, John Key to be in it. The rest I honestly don't understand, but The hobbit  is a really good story, soooooooooooooo...

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The Boston Herald

The Office

Today in the Boston herald Mark A. Perigard Wrote that Steve Carell, star of NBC's show The Office  will be leaving the show at the end of the current season. Writers are worried if the show will go on successfully. I personally think it wont be the same. I think it will stay funny but not as funny. The good thing is that the series will probably end soon because it's on its seventh season.

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The Onion

Funniest article ever

Now of all of the articles I read, posted, and linked, this has got to be the bestest (bestest is not a word) one ever. It's about cockroaches and bedbugs. In it the cockroach was the most feared insect to humans and exterminators. However, the king of the cockroaches, king Leopold Blattodea IV fears that the rise of the bedbugs has came. The King declared war on the bedbugs and made an alliance with the rats, while the bedbugs made an alliance with the silverfish. The centipedes and the maggots just stayed out of the way. sooooooooo...

Bestest link ever